So I decided to quit my job as a Business Manager - IT for AT&T. After 8 full years with people I loved working with, our home life just got too hectic. The kids need me home more now than ever, and I miss them. There is no Mommy war -- I know that whether I was at home or at work life will be crazy and tough and incredible, but at some point you just look at your home life and make the decision to take some of the stress off of your children. This is my last week, and going out with a bang - huge system upgrade.
Plus, Adam was displaying signs of being beyond stressed out and burned out with school. He loves school, but is really firing on all cylinders when he has more time to be a child and use his brain freely. He has plenty of time to be in school and this will be the second to last time he might get a long summer vacation, which he's never had in his life. He wakes up most mornings either dreading going to school or just being extremely mature and sucking it up. It got to be too much to watch, and I know I can homeschool him as well, at least for a little while.
Adam is maturing so well. He's so bright, funny, and loves to tell stories. I'm about to put him in Children's Theater, I believe. He can stories so creatively, with the right inflection and with such emotion. His lies are so believable, but they are harmless and it's hard to get onto him because to him it's all in fun. "Just Kidding, Mom!" I look at him and marvel that he's still got two months left of being 3, when so often he acts like a 6 year old. When he says the 7 continents of the world, "North America, South America, Australia, Asia, Europe, Africa, but don't forget ANTARCTICA!" When he says "Antarctica," it is just flipping adorable.
He also is amazing with made up stories. One of my favorites involves and angry bear, an angry cat, a little boy and a bridge. But this one resonates the deepest with me:
"Once upon a time there was a king, and he was very sad, so he jumped down, down into the sea. Then a shark came and ate one arm, then the other arm, then one leg, then the other leg, and then he ate his eyes. So the King got him some seaweed and the shark gave back his arms and legs and eyes."
"Then what happened?"
"They lived happily ever after."
He's an incredibly helpful and inclusive big brother. Helping, translating, saying sorry and asking everyone if they want to play. And they always squeal, "YEAH!"
Colin is the most devious little creature in all of existence. He has the most adorable little dimples, and they come out quickest when he's plotting something mischievous. He loves to wash dishes and can't stand the face that he can't see over the counter like Adam can. Both he and Claire are constantly dragging chairs, stools, or boxes into the kitchen to explore the counter tops or play in the sink. Typically, this is a wonderful activity! But with two of them spilling water, falling, and pushing each other or arguing about who gets to hold what cup (Mamie and Grandpa, are you having the same flashbacks I am?), it often is more stressful than fun. So with me constantly rushing around trying to do other things, it often turns into disaster and they very rarely get to just stay and play. And when they get told no, complete, utter devastation crosses their face and they scream as if you tried to murder one of them. Both of them are "goal-oriented" and have Type A personalities (as does Adam), but Colin is the one who most frequently has very specific demands that don't get met in his precise way. He's a born supervisor -- when he "cleans" he mostly supervises and manages to sneak away without you noticing while the other two pick up. And he has a scary obsession with scissors, which he can find quickly and surprisingly. When he gets caught with said scissors, he flashes his dimples and runs away. He definitely wants me to have a heart attack far before I'm 40.
Colin's favorite activity. It's like a profession... is harrassing Claire. We have so many stories from their teacher where Claire is so sweetly and perfectly working on her Montessori work, and Colin will abandon whatever he is working on and bring a block over to knock it on her head. They say Claire gets so frustrated -- he just knows how to push her buttons. So they'll move him away to do some other activity and he'll wait until nobody notices and sneak back over to harrass her again. But the truth is, Claire is at least an inch taller and at least 4-5 pounds heavier -- all muscle, so she's just operating with a little more restraint than Colin shows. However, Colin has broken his biting habit, so that's a plus. I think he'll benefit a ton by being home with me more often. He needs a lot of hugs and attention and I think often feels pushed aside, which breaks my heart. They all need more time with me but he definitely needs some more cuddles than he gets.
Also one of the reasons I have fewer pictures lately is because they are all fast, and Colin has determined that he is not going to put up with the camera all the time. So he'll stop mid-grin and scowl at me, shake his head and say "NO."
Claire is a sweet little laid back, intelligent princess. She's the class favorite, extraordinarily mature for her age, and has a total sweet tooth. One day she even got mad at Adam for not letting her play with some toy cupcakes from the play kitchen. She eats her broccoli and is so good with her dinner. Maybe because she knows if she does she'll probably get a cookie. Sits so nicely and does puzzles or reads books, is working on her ABCs and can count to three.
I asked if they wanted some treats and they decided they were going to "do it again."
When we decided that I would stay home with the kids we knew that we didn't have enough money to keep all of them in school, but thought it would be important for Adam to stay in at least 3 half days a week, and we could just barely afford that. But something about that irked and gnawed at me. Adam was SCREAMING every morning at that time that he wouldn't go and crying because he wanted to be with me. But Claire would pop up out of bed, put her shoes on and run through the door to give her teachers a big hug, then she's amazing all day long. We could ask her at 8 pm every night if she was ready to go to school, and she'd say yes. Colin likes school very much but just goes with the flow. He could take or leave it.
So it was starting to not make sense to send Adam and keep Claire out, and we couldn't afford to send all of them. So we are withdrawing the boys starting April 1 and keeping Claire in school three days a week. We plan to do some swimming this summer, spend time at the gym, the park, watch movies, and play in the backyard and just have lots of family time.
I'm thrilled about this new chapter in our lives, and am a little sad to say "good-bye" to my co-workers but I don't believe it's really good bye. And for once in my life am feeling pretty confident that after a year and a half of weighing pros and cons, hesitating, fretting, getting frustrated and then feeling fed up, I'm truly doing the right thing and making the right choice. While I'm moving on, I'm going to focus on giving the kids a real summer, hugging them as much as I can, spending some time learning and exploring, and will be working on my photography, my new success with a network marketing program called Plexus Worldwide, and focusing on something that I've lost sight of... improving myself.
Shannon is a little nervous... but I know that this tough decision was made a lot easier when I know that I will wake up and get to see these stubborn, rebellious, glowing, adorable and mischievous little faces every day and not have to rush them off to school.
