The "Middle-By-A-Minute" Child

My adorable, kind-hearted enigma. 

I'm going to start with Colin this time around. As the "middle-by-a-minute" child (who was "supposed" to be the baby -- they switched places in the womb -- and I like to imagine because of Claire's ahem... "leadership" capabilities), it's tough to be right in the middle, the second boy, the quiet, contemplative one. You don't get overlooked, but well... perhaps you often don't fit quite in the mold. Or maybe you are just born Colin and that is absolutely perfect for this family.

Colin is not a follower. He doesn't attempt to lead anyone anyplace, but he has no intention of doing whatever everyone else is doing "just because." He has his own agenda, his own idea of fun. He is sometimes a loner, sometimes a flirt, sometimes an antagonist and sometimes a pacifist. He enjoys having others around but still only steps in to be a part of it just for a moment, and then finds better things to do... often involving climbing, playing alone or waiting for the right move to rile someone up.

In the beginning I wondered if he'd be very coordinated. He is so low tone, and laid back, but abnormally strong. But now I see him climbing like a champ, and I see a pretty talented quarterback or pitcher in there... he's got quite an arm. Mostly, when Colin is around and in a good mood, keep your head up and cover yourself. He just doesn't mean it aggressively. If he beans you in the face, it's a sign of affection.

Often Colin is perfectly happy being by himself but is quite aware when he wasn't "invited" to the game, especially when Adam and Claire start playing pretend. They all get along well (they fight, a lot, but they love each other equally and very well), but often when Colin drifts off on his own game or to bond better with an adult who is likely to cuddle and talk to him, (or off to his own contemplation and mischief) he misses out on some of the child fun and he realizes it, and when the tears start rolling because Claire or Adam is playing with someone else and he didn't get a "part," the tears are very real and very heartbreaking.

Colin can get a special moment or two on his own to get a treat or a reward, and the first thing he thinks of is Claire and Adam. He got a special treat for winning enough stars for being enormously helpful (which he is often, or he is often not... there is no grey area), so I took him to Hallmark to pick out a stuffed animal. He turned the corner into the aisle, saw a blue and green kitty cat and THAT was it. THAT was the one. No browsing, no contemplating, that was the one, all for him. Instead of grabbing it, plus a few other things, he tried to take 3. He INSISTED we needed three kitty cats so that Claire and Adam would have one too.

When I got on his level to tell him it was all for him, and they already had stuffed animals... that this was HIS trip and it was okay to get something just for him, he refused to let me put them back. Absolutely refused. I let him take them to the counter and told the check out girl that we only needed one, while he picked out three lollipops for everyone.

The kid doesn't look out for number one. He likes toys more than Adam (less than Claire), but his main love is spending time with the few that he allows deep into his corner. His Christmas list is vague, but he told me when we were writing letters to Santa that he wants: 1) to go on the train again with RaRa, 2) A whole day with Mamie and Grandpa, 3) that Claire wants a CareBear for Christmas, 4) That he wants a CareBear too, 5) He also likes Pirates, Buggys, Dinosaurs, and Mickey Mouse.

When given the chance to watch whatever he wants... perhaps Adam's not home, Claire is sleeping, no one else to appease, he chooses Mickey Mouse, because nobody else likes Mickey Mouse and he does. When everyone is there, he likes Bubble Guppies and Team Umizoomi. When it's just him and Claire, he knows Claire likes Dora and CareBears, so he sides with whatever Claire wants. Tonight when he went to bed he reminded me that Claire really wanted a CareBear for Christmas, but that he really likes Pirates.

He just looks out for his family, and I adore seeing that at his age and I want to be good enough to him to help him continue that extremely admirable natural trait. In his heart... FIRST: everyone needs their milk... everyone needs their blankies... everyone needs to be taken care of, and then, DON'T FORGET COLLY. And when his "night night" (what he calls his green blankie) is wet... he doesn't want "Mommies blankie." He'll just do without.

His favorite color is green and right now he really likes wearing flannel shirts and his spiderman shoes. His favorite pajamas are whatever matches with Adam, and when they match, they HAVE to hug. Spiderman pajamas are awesome because they have a "buggy" on them.

On the other side... if he wants something or wants to do something and is denied, no matter how "trivial" it may seem, the tantrums he can throw are both tantalizing and intense... arms flailing, immediate tears, screaming... it's like a black out, and he comes for you, angry -- there's no turning back, no reasoning, no amount of ignoring you can do. Until he's worn himself thin, asks for a bottle and goes to a quiet corner to steam until he's forgiven you for not letting him put his dirty jeans in the pile of clothes he wanted to put them in, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WEAR A HELMET.

Forget that the pile of clothes he deemed worthy for his dirty laundry was actually clean... HOW DARE YOU PUT THEM IN THE WASHING MACHINE?

He's the only one who will sit still in a shopping cart. Anyone who has several kids who sit still in a shopping cart might not know how refreshing that is. It's refreshing that you can put him there, get some hugs, some pointing, some conversation, and not have to argue about whether he's going to walk, ride, wear shoes or stay with you. He says he wants it all but in the end, he doesn't throw a fit unless you don't get him some milk right there in the cart.

The kid can hug like nobody's business, and I mean it. I CRAVE Colin's hugs and Colin's dimply smiles and surprise kisses. The best, though, is when he says randomly, out of nowhere, 10-15 times a day: "Mommy? MOMMY!... I love you too."

He reminds me so much of Shannon, not just in looks (he's a clone), but in sentiment. Quiet, ornery, likes to stir people up and knows when he's done with a party. He socializes with a small crowd and would rather go home when the party gets "too big." This summer we went swimming a few times, and he likes the water just fine, likes the company just fine, but after a while, was determined to just wander the deck and explore on his own. There was no amount of enticing to get him to come play... he wanted to be by himself.

He and my dad, from the moment of his arrival home, have had an extremely close bond. They "get" each other and crave each other's company. My kids are Mamie-a-holics. Seriously. But when Mamie shows up, he looks over her shoulder for Grandpa. When we went to Mamie's work today to visit, he told me before we got out of the car -- "I want Grandpa," and then asked her twice for him. Don't get me wrong, he's a Mamie-a-holic too... but my goodness if that kid wouldn't be happy moving in with Grandpa forever.

...with Grandpa on the train.

They love their Papa too (Shannon's dad)... he showed up one afternoon and it was a surprise, and they mauled him with wrestles and hugs. Colin hung back mostly, joined in when he got comfortable, but felt the most thrilled when Papa and I unloaded a truck bed full of firewood and he got to help. Adam crawled into the bed of the truck to help us, and Colin hung around near our feet begging for logs to move. If I ever wondered what it was like to see Shannon as a toddler... I think I'm getting to see it in person.

The most intriguing thing about this kid is the way he can honestly steal a person's heart in person with his eyes and dimples. Today someone looked at him at my mom's work and Colin grinned his crooked little grin at him, and he said, "well don't you just have the devil in your eyes." The kid is Flat. Out. Ornery. There's no denying that. But the ladies love him. I share pictures on facebook and for the most part, people are enamored with Claire and her little spunky grin... but when they meet Colin in person... they are hooked. I can't say I blame them. I'm quite enamored myself.

It's not that the kid can do no wrong. It's that there's this bright intelligence that radiates out of him that makes you forget his stubbornness and fall 100% absolutely, completely in love with him. He embodies the distant sarcasm that most of us adults feel but don't say... and adds the childish snuggles and bottle-loving innocence of a toddler. When he looks at you, you know that he's stared deep into your soul, come up with a thousand different ways to torture you and (most of the time) refrains from doing so.