Superman

Proud-Parent Moment:

On Friday after a doctor's appointment, I took Adam to get a standard CBC blood test and the technician seemed like he really didn’t want to prick happy little Adam's finger because it makes babies cry - and at 9 months old, who wouldn't cry?

I sat Adam on my lap and we waited. The technician pricked Adam’s finger and I waited for the tears and the squirming...

Adam didn’t move, didn’t flinch, didn’t cry, didn’t utter a noise, and just sat there happily watching the guy milk enough out of his finger to fill a vial. Halfway through it, Adam turned and smiled at me. Like he was glad I brought him to this fun place. I told him he should be in marketing campaigns for getting your fingers pricked.

Maybe he really is from Krypton. I'm so proud he's my son.



Playing with Dad.



42 weeks old

The weekend:
Shannon installed the cooktop, then this last weekend he installed our new microwave. He's done a fabulous job. I love sweat equity . . . especially when it's not my sweat. (Kidding, Shannon.) I like living with two Supermen.

This coming weekend we are putting in some mosaic tile as a trim underneath the microwave. This will be mostly my project if I can gather the patience. Hopefully I won't give up and make Shannon take over for me. Everyone cross your fingers. Then on Sunday, Shannon is going to Orlando for work.

In other news:

Last Wednesday when I picked Adam up from daycare, I had to sign an incident report that he'd been bitten by another child. Adam was wearing a long-sleeve shirt and the bite drew blood. He was bitten because of a toy, which is not exactly one year-old behavior. It just seemed very aggressive. I checked out his bite and was immediately suspicious, especially since a near two year-old was sitting in a highchair 3 seats down.  I asked questions but got very vague answers that day. I went home skeptical.

I have remained calm, but I am confused about how this happened in an infant classroom. It's true that kids bite. Kids get bit. That's the sad and frustrating nature of daycare. I had really hoped that I wouldn't have had to sign a biting incident form until he was in a classroom where biting was more consistent with the age. Or ever, in a dream world. But in this instance I started to feel like I was on the wrong side of a cover up. By law they can't tell the "bitee" who the "biter" was, and that's understandable.

When I asked the lead teacher more questions, I got more vague answers. To the question: "How old was the child who bit him?" I was told, "Oh, you know... they are all about the same age... about 2 to 3 months apart." "Did you clean the wound?" "Yes. And put ice on it." "What were they doing when he got bit?" "Oh, it was about a toy."
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Here's what I think happened:
A child who is misbehaving in an older classroom (almost the age of two) is being sent to the infant room some days. I've seen him there a handful of times, standing around waiting for his mom. I think Adam was going for a toy that he had and the older kid bit him, hard. Hard enough to draw blood. I don't think that a 13 month old could have caused that type of wound over a toy. Maybe bite to chew or teethe... or maybe because they didn't know any better . . . but not because they were so angry that they took a chunk out of my son's arm.

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On Friday, Adam had a sinus infection (and two black eyes because of it), an ear infection, and horrible cough, and was still smiling… We went to the doctor and he smiled at her the whole time she talked – giggled because he’s ticklish on his neck when she checked his glands, and sat there cheerfully as if nothing was wrong. She politely marveled about his advanced mobility.

I told our pediatrician about the bite and she looked at me, half-confused, and asked what age group he was in at his daycare. I immediately felt validated in my concerns. She checked out his bite said that it’s highly unlikely that a baby at or under the age of 12 months could have caused that particular bite on Adam, and that biting behavior typically doesn't start until about 18+ months. She said that I'm most likely correct that a one year old didn't do this.

After the appointment, I called another daycare and asked about the laws, about their policies, and about whether they had an opening for him. It's not illegal to have an older child in the classroom as long as they are not more than 18 months older than the youngest child there. But, as she said, "There is a difference between what is illegal and what is right for the child."

On Monday I talked to the office manager at our current daycare and told her that I had concerns about getting vague answers, and fears that I'm not getting the whole truth. I asked about the older child in the room (and never got a real answer). She pulled the incident report and said, "oh, well I can tell you that the child who did it is in one of his classrooms and that it can sometimes happen at this age . . . but I'll need to talk to them about the incident and make sure we are taking steps to prevent it in the future." I told her that I'm in no way saying that it is impossible, but that I'm highly skeptical. I explained that the bite drew blood and that it simply doesn't look like a bite that a 13 month old could have caused, and she seemed to get concerned and said she would definitely talk to them tomorrow when they returned.

When Shannon dropped off Adam this morning there was a laminated note on the infant room door that said that for safety, older children should not be allowed in the infant room. Suspicious. I'm now starting to wonder if the infant teachers tampered with the incident report so they wouldn't get in trouble.

No matter where we go there will be biters. There will be bumps and bruises and hitting and fights... it's part of being in a room with a bunch of kids. But I don't like being at a daycare where I worry I'm being lied to, am unable to get any direct answers about what goes on with my baby all day, and where I'm unhappy with the attitude, curriculum, and amount of turn-over.

In the end, the decision is that we're leaving. I'm leaving because I am unhappy for many reasons, not because he was bitten. This was just the event to force me to finally make a decision instead of continue to "wait it out" with no real results. After talking to some smart girls about their experiences with their children in daycares, I finally was convinced that this isn't "just how it is."

The daycare I've chosen to move him to separates the babies into infants, mobile infants, and 12-18 months before being sent up to the "toddler" classroom of 18-24 months. They do sign language and start literacy programs early. They have posters right on the door that tell you what they are doing that week and that day, what songs they sang, what books they read, what art they did, what games they played . . . the teachers are cheerful and seem to like their jobs, and the Directors are professional and available. I may not like everything about them someday or have issues in the future, but I know that I'm miserable where we are now.

This new place has many of the things I feel we've been lacking, and maybe now I'll walk in to pick him up and get to hear what he did that day - not that the highlight of his day was that he had 5 dirty diapers and threw up on one of the teachers.

I'm going to put in our two weeks notice tonight, regardless of what they say - I'm not angry, but I'm done. The only part that I have to worry about is me dealing with the change. Adam is social and bright and cheerful. He'll do fine anywhere. It's me we'll have to worry about.