I quote myself from a previous blog post, Pile It On: "[Adam] has never really had any fits (so far) when I've dropped him off anywhere."
I should have just kept my big mouth shut.
Adam has (some would say finally) developed separation anxiety due to the change of daycares, I believe. Last update, he was grinning on his way to school. The new school. One day, same old day care - Happy. The next day, new daycare - Happy. One week later - Misery. Tears. Anxiety. I don't know what happened.
Here is what I think happened though: The first week we were there, Adam was put in the "Mobile Infant" classroom ages 12 - 18 months. He's 10 months, but because he's so mobile and slightly advanced, and since they had room for him, they put him in that classroom. Great. Big kids, stuff to do, things to learn, none of that boring baby stuff. He was nervous but liked it there.
Week 2. Cue me carrying Adam into the mobile infant classroom. Cue frantic daycare teacher changing diaper. Cue other teacher feeding kids. Cue 6 toddlers at my feet, some of them crying. It was like they let the flood gates open and children were everywhere. She looked at me and said, "we're going to have Adam move to the infant classroom."
Now, I don't know how I really feel about being told that my baby will be in one room and then another immediately after because they enrolled 18 new kids in a day. But I wasn't about to argue with her when she was clearly right - he didn't need to be in that environment of screaming toddlers more advanced than him - he's just not quite walking as well as those kids, and not eating the same things just yet. Not that Adam minds. He thinks he's a two year old in a 10 month old's body (well, a 10 month old's body that is the size of an 18 month old - but I digress). So I walked him over to the adjacent "infant" room. Sterile, quiet, and babies -- little bitty babies -- trying to lift their heads and sleeping in swings. I could see the tears of boredom develop in little Adam's eyes.
Immediately he clung his legs and arms onto my body and held on for dear life. He knew something was up, and he knew he wasn't going to like it. I told the other teachers his schedule, etc. etc. I tried to put him down and he used my arm as a rope and climbed back up like a monkey.
I finally handed him over and he screamed, he cried, he looked at me with that sad down-turned mouth and the fear washed over him. I had to run out of the room. By the time I made it outside to the window, I peeked in and he was fine. I cried all the way to work.
Every day of drop off for the last two weeks has been similar. He cried at drop off every day that first week in the NEW new room (poor kid probably doesn't know where he'll be dropped off next), then over the weekend he developed the double ear infection and sinus infection, we had family play day on Monday, he cried when Shannon dropped him off Tuesday (we were called an hour later to pick him up because of the fever). He stayed home Wednesday, and cried Thursday and today. In the more recent days, he cries when I initially hand him over, but she turns him around to look at something else and he stops crying before I even get to the door. So it's getting better.
He's fine and happy when I pick him up, and I'm pretty sure he gets more one-on-one time there. He's eating the table food (most days - not quite ready for corn dogs, chicken nuggets, or fish sticks (even though he ate the fish sticks just fine from what I hear - luckily he wasn't allergic). I think he's still bored out of his mind and ready to move back up into the other classroom though. They try to do things with the "older" infants but I have a feeling it's just not the same.
Today when I dropped him off, both teachers were engaged with other kids so I sat down with Adam to play with some toys and let him get comfortable. He kept one hand on me at all times and didn't want to sit - he was poised to spring if I were to make any sudden movements away. Finally we got comfortable but he never let his guard down. (Did you think I was born yesterday, Mom?)
While sitting there, one of the teachers asked me if he usually gets nervous around new people or in new places, and I had to tell her no... that this is a new development that we've noticed in the last two weeks, suddenly. She told me a story about how yesterday she took him up to the front office with her so she could make some copies, and he got incredibly nervous and clung to her. She let one of the office managers hold him and she walked a few feet away to make copies and he FREAKED. She took him back and as they were walking back to the classroom, he gave the other lady (the one he freaked out about) a flirtatious little smile.
She said that it just doesn't seem like his personality to be so anxious about strangers since he's clearly a little social flirt. I agreed with her. He hasn't been himself lately - he's even throwing tantrums at home and can't stand to be left alone. He's acting out and smiles at me when I tell him no... and has gotten a time out or two for not listening. Half the time it's "I don't feel good," cries, and I definitely feel for him - the other half of the time it's "I didn't get what I wanted" crocodile tears. I've actually been wondering if it's possible to hit the terrible two's at 10 months old.
However, his stranger anxiety is not consistent. He sat completely still on Tuesday when we went to the pediatrician as Dr. Kim (a doctor in the practice that we hadn't seen yet but who was filling in for our normal pediatrician) cleaned out Adam's ears and checked him out. Adam flung himself into this new guy's arms twice, and Dr. Kim commented on what a sweet boy he was and how lucky Dr. Han was to have him as a patient. [This is after Adam and I fought for twenty minutes about what he could and could not do in the patient room (books, YES - drawer full of medical supplies, NO). He almost won. It was long battle, and he's starting to think I just tell him "no" to be unfair.]
I don't know whether it's the ear infections, or the new daycare, or a combination of the two, but I'm worried that I've overloaded him with too much "new." I feel guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty. He liked where he was before, even though he didn't know any better. I know he will adjust, I just hope it's soon. I got to see a glimpse of my normal, sweet child this morning - I just hope it sticks around as he starts to feel better.
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