We Love Spring Time

Springtime has made Adam one happy little boy. No one tells you not to go outside . . . no one says "don't splash in that puddle!" and sometimes Mom or Dad gets the hose out and sprays it straight up in the air so he can stomp around fully clothed in the "rain." We even get to eat outside sometimes, which results in less eating and more snacking and running around.

We have some new obsessions as well. For one, hats are no longer so bad... as long as he was the one who made the hat choice and the hat is worn backwards (which is interesting, since Shannon hardly ever wears his hat backwards). I also wish I had the foresight to pull out the video camera when we presented Adam with some brand new sneakers.

While I admit there's really nothing like a new pair of kicks, the excitement that washed over him as he bounced and yelled, "SHOES!" over and over, then impatiently waited for Shannon to put them on, then stomped around the room, squealed excitedly, and checked them out from each angle... well, I don't think I've ever been that excited about a new pair of shoes in my life. They are pretty awesome kicks though, and I dig the excitement. Wait until he sees the special pair of K Swiss Dad bought him for special occassions...

Now that it's warm enough, his techniques for getting us out of the house are more effective because we actually have something to say yes to. Once shoes are on, regardless of the time of day, he'll put his palms up, run to the door to the garage, and say, "Where are we gonna go??" If no one followed him, he'll come back and stand in front of you and say it repeatedly. If he's serious about it, he'll bring me my shoes, throw my purse over his shoulder, grab the car keys and head to the door to bang on it.

He's getting more creative in his techniques also, since last weekend he put his own shoes on, came and asked at 7:30 one night:
Adam: "Where are we gonna go??"
Me: "I dunno, Adam, where are you going to go?"
Adam: "The store."
Me: "You need to go to the store?"
Adam nods enthusiastically, then doesn't even wait for an answer and goes into the kitchen to get Dad, and attempts to drag Shannon out the door. I think he ended up getting a bath instead, which he loves just as much.

And if we are mid-tantrum and can't find a way to make him happy, we just say, "Do you want to brush your teeth?" and he will forget all of his woes and sprint to the bathroom, excited and completely forgetting what had originally made him upset.

Unfortunately I am in the position of not being able to take Adam to "the store" anymore. In fact, I've even banned myself from going to the store because it doesn't end well. So Shannon takes him to Home Depot, plays with him in the backyard, shows Adam how to keep the yard looking nice, cleans the house, does the laundry, changes diapers, dresses him, takes him to school, picks him up from school, cooks him dinner, gives him a bath, and tucks him in at night (I still get to do that sometimes). Shannon is incredible. INCREDIBLE. I have always had an obsession with Superman. I never dreamed I would marry him.

Recently Adam has been more open about the idea of babies in the house, and adopted the phrase, "it's for the baby." His old room is slowing turning into the babies' room, and when he goes in it he points out all the things that are "for the babies." Then he shows off his climbing skills by using the two new cribs (or "Baby Night Night") as basically a jungle gym.

I miss Adam terribly now that I'm able to do very little around the house, and the best part of my day is when he and I lie in Shannon and I's bed to unwind at night and either watch an episode of Little Einsteins or play on the iPad, which is his new favorite toy. He clings to me when Shannon comes in to take him to bed, and I have to admit that it takes incredible will power to let Shannon take him when he's being all cuddly and sweet. Some nights I'll go lie down with him in his bed before he goes to sleep, and we'll play with his turtle night light - which displays stars and a moon on the ceiling.

Adam with his new favorite toy...


Also, after spending so much time with Shannon and learning from an expert, Adam is one of the cleanest toddlers I know. I think in some ways he fantasizes about the day he's big enough to take out the trash. In the meantime, he helps out by sweeping and mopping up spills. He's tall enough to reach the kitchen counter, so we have now realized that our important documents need to be kept in higher places. . . or else they'll end up in the trash. He also frequently "helps" Shannon vacuum, which greatly slows down the process for Shannon as he's either vacuuming with Adam holding the handle too or having to stop every minute or two to plug the vacuum back in, as unplugging it once Dad gets going is one of Adam's new favorite games.


And finally, we couldn't be prouder of our smart little guy. A week or two ago we got a note from his teachers at school:

Dear Ham Family,
Adam is such a sweet and smart little boy. Today I was signing our songs and colors and as Ms. Lauren and I looked over at Adam, he was following right along signing his colors!
--Ms. Kathryn
Adam can sign, say and identify all of his colors. Adam's favorite color in the world is yellow. When he's allowed the choice he will pick yellow (which is why his new nap mat is yellow and when he goes to bed each night he immediately switches his turtle night light from the default green to yellow). This does not count for yellow jelly beans, which are apparently disgusting.

However, his favorite color to sign is BROWN. I find brown things now just to make him get all excited about naming the color.

24 Weeks (6 Months) Pregnant

I remember one fleeting moment about 2 and a half years ago, when I was around 12 weeks pregnant with Adam and lying in bed, miserable and nauseous, and had been for almost 2 months (and would continue to be for another month after that). I remember briefly fantasizing that in my next pregnancy I would hope to be pregnant with twins because while I knew I wanted three kids, I had already gathered enough information about pregnancy to realize that I didn't want to be pregnant three times.

Of course, there was about a 2% chance of this ever happening, so I never thought about it again. And while it was a fun daydream that lasted a good 15 minutes, it was probably one of the most naive 15 minutes of my lifetime so far. Twin pregnancy does not mean that you get a two-for-one special, tricking the pregnancy gods into allowing you a free pass.

The nausea, which I didn't think could get much worse than with Adam, is more intense, more unpredictable, and starts earlier. I was (am) tired constantly -- even after a good 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I'd wake up and feel like I ran a marathon. The headaches are constant, the heartburn appeared faster, and every possible early pregnancy symptom that they write about appeared and magnified itself like it wanted to be sure I noticed it. If it wasn't one thing it was another. The only relief is that the nausea disappeared around week 12 (whereas with Adam I was sick until weeks 16-18). These are not complaints; I am only attempting to be clear when I reiterate just how naive I was.

Then, for about 2 months, I felt "pretty good." I never felt "great," mind you, but I was able to function like a human being and I was more tired than "normal" but WAY better than I had been for the first 3 months.

And now, at 24 weeks (6 months), it has become clear to me that it is (already) the beginning of the end of any productive or "normal human being" days... hell, let's face it, we're doing well if I have a good hour in me. Showering and dressing now requires a 45 minute "rest" period before any further activities can be tackled. Changing Adam's diapers gives me back spasms, I can hardly put on my own shoes let alone his, I don't sleep well because I have to use every muscle in my body to roll over in the middle of the night, and early on I had to relinquish my duties of Adam-daycare-drop-off to Shannon.

My doctor has now advised me to work from home, if that's at all possible, so I'm working on figuring out the details for that. Also, my rights to pick Adam up from school are revoked as well since a recent episode when I was feeling particularly frisky and ambitious, and after picking him up and trying to get everything in the car, ended up having to chase him through the parking lot (and trust me, he's little but he's fast). He planned his escape, spotted the playground, and made his move, abandoning me at the car while he's sprinted away, giggling the whole way. You haven't lived until you get to see a 6 month pregnant woman with twins going for a jog after her toddler in a parking lot.


The reason for my miisery and lack of any remaining indications of "normality" this clear: I have two healthy, growing babies to carry around who are literally sucking every last calorie out of me. And they can have them! It's a full time job to remind myself to take every supplement, every vitamin, drink every gallon of water and eat enough to allow them to grow and allow me the opportunity to blink, let alone walk. I am lucky that when I don't get enough to eat, my body is allowing them to take what they need and I suffer the consequences . . . and that's a good thing, because I can do something about that!

Right now at just barely 6 months pregnant, I'm as big as I was when I was 7 and a 1/2 months pregnant with Adam. (I was always small when I carried Adam and then he came out almost 9 lbs - which no one expected). However, I've been told that I'm hiding them well. My torso creates some kind of illusion, I believe. I may not look it, but I definitely FEEL it.

And, I'm growing FAST... The two pictures below are just two days apart. The one in the gray shirt was from Tuesday and the one in the brown from Thursday. Both are at 24 weeks.

At my appointment yesterday, I got to see the little ones again. The sonogram technician told me that this was about the time we'd see which one of the twins would "pull ahead," as in, now is the time where one starts to get bigger than the other, as they have amazingly remained almost eerily symmetrical to date. When she measured the little girl, she commented that at 1 lb, 8 oz, she is growing very well, "as if she thinks she's in there all by herself." This size is actually big even for a "singleton" baby of this gestation (not huge, but a good-sized little girl).

At the last appointment the little girl was head-down, but since then she has turned herself around and is in a breech position. They say she's about out of time to turn herself around, but this is fine; since I plan on a c-section they can do whatever they want as long as it's grow and stay healthy. She is comfortably sitting with her head up under my ribs and her feet pressed and kicking up against my bladder, literally. I didn't need the ultrasound to be able to tell that, though.

Because of her position, we were unable to get any good pictures of her face, but she was stretching out to show off her muscular legs and arms.

Her leg - already getting definition for future soccer games (wink, wink).

Her arm - you can see her fingers curled backwards.

As for our little boy, who I have to say... does not move nearly as much as his sister does, but when he does move, he MEANS it... his kicks are visible from a few feet away and he's not messing around. During the ultrasound he was showing off by stretching out straight (aka, putting his feet on his sister's head) and throwing his head back, and then just when the ultrasound technician commented that it would be nice if he'd tilt his head back up so we could get a good face shot, he did just that... right on cue.

In the last ultrasound pics I thought he might have a similar profile to what Adam did, but now I'm not so sure. They do have the same chin though, at least from what I could tell when she was looking at them. To end the ultrasound session, he then showed off by showing how well he can swallow and then threw his legs up over his head... (the quality of the photo isn't incredibly great, but I couldn't help but share.)

Curling into a ball.

And then, to see just who was "pulling ahead" in the who-is-bigger-than-who competition, she measured him... only to be shocked that he, as well, is exactly 1 lb 8 oz, just like his sister. Not only was the ultrasound technician in shock, but the doctor said it was pretty incredible as well - not only their size in general, but that they are completely symmetrical still. We decided that they are just incredibly competitive, and neither one is willing to back down. I have to say, I'm already a proud mom.


We're aiming for 38 weeks here... that's my goal, at least, and I've had many discussions with these babies about it, so I'm fairly certain they understand the terms. So here's to another 14 weeks!

A Toddler's Guide to Parental Mystification

This morning, Adam clearly and quickly identified his colors.

Me: "What color is this crayon?"
Adam: "BLUE!"
Me: "What about this one?"
Adam: "ROJO!" (yes, he says red in Spanish)
Me: "And this?"
Adam: "YELLOW!"
Me: "And what about your shirt, what color is that?"
Adam: "GREEN!"

(Purple is another favorite, but we didn't have any purple around at the time.)

He then proceeded to say and point out every letter "A" in his full name (which was written in marker on his pack of diapers to be sent to daycare), and then handed over his crayons to me one at a time, while counting... "one... two... three!"

Most days when we ask him to identify a color, he says . . . no, he INSISTS . . . that everything is yellow. We brought out the green Bumbo chair that used to be his (which will now belong to his siblings for a while).

Day 1
Adam walked up to the Bumbo, sat in it, then stood up, pointed at it and declared:
"Yellow."
Me: "Actually, Adam, that's green. It's a green chair."
Adam re-points (you know, when you pull your hand back and then point again to get your point across):
"Yellow!"
Me: "No, the chair is green. GREEN."
He walks away.

Day 2
Adam walks out of the kitchen, carrying his milk. He points at the chair:
"Yellow!"
Me: "Green. Green Chair."
Adam: "Yellow!"
Me: "Green."

Adam walks away.

Day 3 (You get the picture...)
Adam goes up to the Bumbo: "Sit. Yellow!"
Me: "No, Adam, the chair is green. Green."
Adam points, hard, and looks at me: "Yellow!"
Me: "It's green, Buddy."
Adam: "YELLOW!"
Me: "Okay, fine... It's yellow if you want it to be."
Adam grins: "Yellow."

Apparently the point of the interaction was a battle of wills to see who could win the argument. Adam is content with the success of his debating skills, and we haven't had the conversation since. I guess the moral of the story is that if you say something with enough confidence, people will believe you.

So after this morning's proof that Adam is not, in fact, color blind or truly believes that every color is the color "yellow," this caused me to recall many recent events that make me realize just how good the kid is at parental discombobulation. And I'm starting to realize that much of it, quite possibly, is very intentional.

Therefore, below is Adam's A Toddler's Guide to Parental Mystification. Since he cannot type, I will write for him. But be warned: If you have any toddlers you may not want to read this while they are looking over your shoulder, for I am beginning to realize that they understand much more than they let on. Don't let them tell you they can't read . . . it's just a ploy.
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A Toddler's Guide to Parental Mystification: 3 Tips to Successful Toddlering

Tip #1: The Art of the Epic Tantrum
If you do not get your way, do not take this lightly. Parents have no good reason to say "no more juice," or "you can't drive my car," or "it's raining and cold outside, so we can't go out." Either find a way to make it happen, or drop to the floor, scream loud, cry hard, and put on your most upset face. If they walk away, follow them.

If they can stand 5 minutes of the tantrum, continue. A good tantrum is not a good tantrum unless you can last at least 10 minutes. If you forget what you were after in the first place, or can't remember why you're upset, punish them for it by continuing to cry until you remember . . . or pick something else to be upset about.

Tip #2: Don't Be Predictable
Maybe one day you like chicken nuggets . . . maybe the next you hate them. They think your favorite food is macaroni and cheese? Make them think again. Maybe you like to drink from a straw one day but the next you need a regular glass. One day you want to go home right after school . . . the next you cry every time Mom pulls into the driveway until she agrees to take you to the store... for something. ANYTHING. Keep them guessing. They act like they are frustrated. Sometimes they throw their hands in the air. They actually like it.

And if you don't get what you said you wanted, see Tip #1.

Tip #3: Use Humor to Get Out of Trouble
Yes, you know what a time out is. Obviously. So you when you are insisting that you need something and Mom or Dad fail to deliver what you wanted, when you wanted it . . . get it yourself. If it's on the counter, use a chair to reach it. If it's in another room, wait until they are distracted. If they still say no . . . see if they mean it. A couple of times. Don't give up. And if they really mean "no," you might hear "Do you want a time out?"

No, of course you don't want a time out. Duh. But don't let them know that. This is your opportunity.

When you hear the game changing "Do you want a time out?" Be sarcastic. Nod your head emphatically. Excitedly say, "Yeah, yeah, YEAH!" and grin your little face off. It throws them off. I don't know why, but it works. It leaves them speechless, sometimes paralyzed, and sometimes it makes Dad laugh. The same tactic works when it's at least a good hour before your bedtime, and you have had a particularly successful day at toddlering, and you hear, "Do you want to go to bed??" Just say yes.

Note: This modified technique will also work when you realize you may have pushed the limits slightly too far and one parent collapses, defeated, in a chair while the other gives up and just goes to bed at 7:30 pm. When this happens, be as cute as can be so they'll forget all about it. Kisses, hugs, offer to put on their shoes for them... and then start again the next day.
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To be fair, Adam doesn't use these techniques every day, but when he decides to use them, he's pretty damn good at it.

He found a good puddle for sitting in.

A Mother's Song

My heart is like a fountain true

That flows and flows with love to you.
As chirps the lark unto the tree
So chirps my pretty babe to me.

There's not a rose where'er I seek,
As comely as my baby's cheek.
There's not a comb of honey-bee,
So full of sweets as babe to me.

There's not a star that shines on high,
Is brighter than my baby's eye.
There's not a boat upon the sea,
Can dance as baby does to me.

No silk was ever spun so fine
As is the hair of baby mine.
My baby smells more sweet to me
Than smells in spring the elder tree.

A little fish swims in the well,
So in my heart does baby dwell.
A little flower blows on the tree,
My baby is the flower to me.

The Queen has sceptre, crown and ball,
You are my sceptre, crown and all.
For all her robes of royal silk,
More fair your skin, as white as milk.

Ten thousand parks where deer do run,
Ten thousand roses in the sun,
Ten thousand pearls beneath the sea,
My babe more precious is to me.

Ketchup and Attitude

We have reached that state in our house where the whole point of being a toddler is to rule the world. And Adam is a pretty good ruler.

In three days, Adam will be 22 months old. I have often referred to him as my almost two-year old and this is in no way a reflection or indication that I'm speeding up his maturation (he's doing that very well on his own). He speaks like a two year old (phrases, repeating words verbatim and then using them appropriately later), and is more frequently showing the infamous two year old behavior of the collapsing, life ending tantrums and some pretty serious bossiness.

Luckily the bossiness is usually to make us do something sweet... like his new game of pretending to ask for a kiss while Shannon is holding him, and then when I get close he grabs the back of my neck, the back of Shannon's neck, and makes us kiss. Then he giggles and grins and makes us do it again.

His tastes are changing also. Two months ago he would have thrown a french fry on the floor for the dog. Now he eats them first and asks for more. Last week, if you put ketchup on his plate he would have tried it and then looked at you like you tried to poison him. Yesterday, well... it couldn't be more opposite:



I've often been very curious about how Adam's energy level compares with other children his age. I often use words like "active," and "full of energy," to describe him (and have even told people that I would swear he has 8 hands - when one forbidden object is taken from reach he can manage to get ahold of another before you have a chance to blink). When I say these things to other parents, I usually hear things like, "all toddlers are energetic," or "welcome to parenthood," or some other nonchalant wave-off like that. I usually let it pass without arguing the point.

After talking to Adam's day care teacher this morning, I confirmed even further what I already knew. Adam's energy level is far higher than any of the other toddlers - she says that when they go outside, he runs and runs and runs without limits. She said she wondered if he was the same at home and wondered how we handled his energy, and I basically told her that he was the same with us and that it's constant, from sunrise to bedtime. How we handle it is to embrace it, and just realize that he, for now, can be a two person job. I shared that his new nickname is "The Flash" because he does nothing slow.

She asked (curiously, not negatively) if I thought he might calm down after having the twins, and I had to be honest and say "no." I got the impression she felt for us and the upcoming battles of having three babies that age, with one who seems to have no limits to the amount of movement he can fit into a day.
But I am not complaining. There's nothing wrong with energy or excitement, and it only adds to his charming personality. Days can be exhausting, but I wouldn't change him for anything.

Last night after dinner, Adam and I had a little talk before bath time. Here's he's saying, "Whatcha talking 'bout?!" It's much more clear the first time he says it, but after that he gets excited and it gets a little garbled. It's still cute though.

The Half-Way Point

At my 20 week OBGYN appointment this week, we got to see our growing little boy and little girl again (and after receiving piles of both boy and girl clothes from extremely generous friends over the last few weeks, we had a big sigh of relief as she confirmed that they are 100%-Without-A-Doubt male and female).

At 20 weeks, both babies are 12 ounces each. Both have identical heartrates (which oddly has been the pattern at nearly every appointment). Both are active, and this time they were both lying head down, and face to face, like they were having a "meeting of the minds," as she put it. Like they were already having a little conversation . . . and hopefully not scheming already.

Face to Face

Because they are fraternal, they have their own placentas and their own "sacs" - and when you see the membrane that separates them it looks like a tiny breakable string that could easily be snapped... but it's rubbery and strong, even though they kick at it (at each other), and can see each other through it. So because they are face-to-face, their legs are interlocked also. It's not hard to imagine why they say twins have such a bond from the moment they are born... they are constantly with each other from conception.

Legs interlocked - Boy on the left, Girl on the right

Both babies are bigger than average and longer than average -- even for singleton babies. She said that that is awesome, considering that by this time usually twin babies tend to start slowing down on the growth. So, they said, whatever I'm doing is working and I should keep doing it. The little boy, from head to toe, looks perfect in every way. The little girl looks just as perfect except for a "borderline dilated" kidney that they noticed in the ultrasound . . . but they are not going to panic and advised me not to worry as well. We'll check up on it again at the next appointment in 4 weeks. (The same thing happened with Adam and by the follow up he was fine - although they said that this is much more common and harmless in boys and less common to see in girls). I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned, but I also don't have enough facts or alarms to panic at this point.

Because Baby Girl (Twin A) is slightly lower, they expect that she will be born first. Baby Boy (Twin B) has the "comfortable" ride as he has a little bit more room. So we got many pictures of heads, legs, organs, feet, and Baby Boy's profile, but had to work hard to get a shot of Baby Girl's profile as her face was pushed right up into his (and since she is so active that it's hard to get her to sit still long enough -- reminds me of a certain 22 month old I know).

Baby Girl

Baby Boy

As for me, I'm still healthy. My hips hurt, I'm exhausted constantly, and stamina is at a frustratingly low level, but at least I'm not in the state that I was for the first 3 months of the pregnancy, when I barely felt like a human being. I'm lucky that I have a job, co-workers, and a supervisor who value my health. I'm in an environment where I'm encouraged to take care of myself. And when I come home, Shannon takes care of Adam (when we're both in the same place it is rare that I have to change any dirty diapers), helps with dinner, does most of the day-to-day cleaning, and every now and then will surprise me with a Butterfinger Blizzard. Without all of this, I don't think I'd be in the healthy state that I am in. I know that there will be a point (probably in the near future), where I'm not even this mobile or productive, but in the meantime I'm listening to my body and am able to respond as I should.

I take my prentatal vitamins, my folic acid, my iron supplements, and my calcium supplements (pretty much) every day... I'm mostly avoiding caffeine and I eat what I want but in reasonable quantities. As I get further and further along, I'm more tempted to (and justified) to get a salad AND a cup of fruit with my sandwhich (or the large nachos instead of the regular nachos), and I'm eating much more protein than I used to, mostly because I'm craving it. I also cannot get enough water. 10 glasses a day still leaves me parched.

The most promininent of my pregnancy symptoms lately are the extremely vivid dreams I'm having . . . last night's doozy involved me giving birth to two red-haired, freckled, full-grown, ultra-intelligent children who sat politely in the hospital room chairs with us, with their hands folded in their lap. They informed us they didn't like the names we'd picked out for them . . . and therefore named themselves "Jim" and "Abby."

AND, I'm growing fast. At 20 weeks (5 months) I'm measuring one full month ahead at 6 months pregnant with a single baby, from what they tell me.

16.5 weeks

19 weeks

20 weeks

However, I'm not running around like I used to. I've had to relinguish my duties of dropping off Adam at school to Shannon, because after getting myself ready, making Adam breakfast, changing his diaper and chasing him down to put on his clothes, socks, shoes, etc... then get him into the car, out of the car, into school and myself back to the car... I literally feel ill and the day hasn't really even begun. I was advised not to pick Adam up anymore if I could avoid it, but poor Adam doesn't truly understand and most of the time sitting on Mom's lap on the couch is not nearly as exciting as being held on my hip as I cook dinner. Luckily Dad is a constant loving presence in the house so someone can always pick him up if he needs it... for now. And now that the weather is nicer, he gets to spend some good quality time out in the backyard with Dad and throwing the ball for Caley.

We're starting to gather what we need and the house looks like a baby store exploded. This isn't to say that there is a ton of it (other than clothes), only that there is no place yet for what we do have so it's littering the backs of couches and bedrooms throughout the house.