Brought To You By The Number 2

I realized this morning that in two weeks, I will have a two year old and two two-month olds. That's a lot of twos.

Today's post is brought to you by the letter A, the letter C, and the number 2.

Due to lack of time, this update will be primarily in the form of pictures and Facebook updates over the last week or so.

On Monday, I somehow hit the baby jackpot, and all three of them crashed for a good hour and a half on the couch. This is same old, same old for Colin and Claire, but Adam never falls asleep anywhere unless it's in his own bed, or with a lot of coaxing somewhere else.

I have to admit I was baffled.

Adam's phrase of the week... I have TWO pacis!!

This is what it's like to be stared at by two hungry babies.

"Hop to it, Mom."

Now what?

On Tuesday, Claire smiled for about 20 minutes at Colin. On Wednesday, she was smiling at Adam, and on Thursday she smiled at me. When I got out of the shower later that morning, I caught Colin looking at Claire and grinning. It's pretty adorable, really.

These babies adore each other, but reveal every day how they are very much the opposite of each other. This week I discovered that Claire is a morning person- smiles, smiles, smiles...  while Colin is a night owl and wants to hang out and look at everything just before bedtime (which, fortunately, he also likes).

Frankly, my life has morphed into one of those flash-before-your-eyes kind of realities, so I'm not sure there's much more to say beyond these events below...

Brenna Lyn Photography sent us our newborn photos, and now we just have to figure out which one will go over the very empty space over the fireplace... These are our favorites.

Adam had a swim date with Lisa this morning and he had a blast. My Aunt Becky and cousin Mandie are in town to visit with the babies, so while they and my mom watched them, I took Adam to Lisa's and I went grocery shopping. However, literally 30 seconds before I pulled into their driveway his eyes glazed over and he threw up all over himself. Twice. But afterwards he looked and acted like he felt fine. So we hosed him down and he swam for about 30 minutes. (I'm not quite sure what I'll do when it gets too cold to have outside baths).

Lisa said he was well behaved and a very good listener. I'm so proud of him.  And when I asked if he was ready to go, he said, "nuh uh," and ran around yelling cheerfully with a roll of paper towels on his head. He whimpered when he had to say goodbye to Lisa. I'm hoping we'll get to do more Lisa-Adam dates this summer. There's definite chemistry there.

When we came back, I got to take a nap and my mom had gone nuts cleaning our house, washing sheets and making beds, mopping floors, vacuuming, and in general making our house livable once again. I truly don't know what I'd do without the help and support of my family (who helps me keep my sanity by giving us a minivan, bringing meals, socializing with me, holding/feeding babies and playing with Adam) and friends, who bring meals (Kristina, Carol, Brenda, Valerie, Lily) and send diapers ... (Kristina, Lisa Dean, and the mountain of diapers my parents gave us). I would probably live in filth, never leave the house, and starve to death. I'm thrilled I don't have to find out how hard it would be to do this alone.

Be Flexible

I believe that any of the successes I have had in my life can be traced back to two things my parents taught me. My dad taught me to have a plan. To evaluate and predict upcoming situations and be prepared for them in advanced if possible. My mom taught me to be flexible and spontaneous. To not be stressed out when things don't go exactly the way I expected. They taught me other things, of course, like how to dress myself and how to spell my name correctly (although I never did live down the nickname Erni). Somehow I was in college before anyone realized I didn't know how to properly cut my own steak, but regardless, I learned a lot from them.

All of my life I have craved a plan. What time to leave the house... Knowing where I'm going ahead of time... If I'm not 10 minutes early then I'm late. I need To Do lists, charts, calendars, appointment confirmations, a schedule and a communication of the plan to all involved. I feel safe there. My dad would help me make sure my soccer bag was packed the night before, that I knew where I was going and when, and would remind me and teach me how to budget my time appropriately. Because of this I never, ever, started a paper the night before it was due... and I never ended up at any soccer games without the right uniform.

The plan wraps me in a big straight jacket and keeps me from losing my mind or breaking down. My best days include a plan, whether I was able to stick to that plan or not. My worst days are not because things didn't go as planned, but because there was no plan to follow in the first place. It also doesn't have to be my plan, just a plan. Some people find this planning to be exhausting... But I find it liberating, allowing me to focus on other things because the basic functions of the day have been decided.

On the other hand, if things don't go as planned I don't fall apart. I can be flexible and willing to accept that things will never always go as planned.  (I have my limits to how many times I can change plans before I get annoyed, but typically it takes a little while to get there.) My mom is more on the spontaneous side (although she can plan with the best of them - I remember one family vacation that would be spent with many hours in the car, and she had put together a small activity for each of us to keep us occupied for every day of the trip. I remember getting little brown paper lunch sacks with games or puzzle books each day. Had Pinterest existed back then, it would have been a popular "pin.") She taught me that life doesn't always require a plan to make sure things go right, although she was probably so level headed because she did the planning for us and had back up after back up to fall back on. If we planned a camping trip and something was missing, or lost, or plans went South, I could take a lesson from her on how she handled the set backs coolly, calmly, and with a smile and a shrug. Or maybe she's just THAT good at thinking on the fly.

Without a doubt I would say that I need schedule more than spontaneity. But in the last four weeks I am finding that a schedule isn't always the key to success, and that shocks me.

When Adam was a newborn he thrived on a schedule also. Even before I could put him on a feeding, sleeping, awake time schedule, he put himself on one. There were deviations, obviously, but our days were fairly predictable, down to what time he normally ate. This time around, that is definitely not the case. I plan for three hour cycles beginning with eating, diaper change, awake time, and nap time for each baby. But at the times when I expect them to be ready for some tummy time after a meal, a diaper change and a brief rest, one or both will fall asleep. Or throw up. When I set my watch to plan for their next feeding, perhaps that I should expect Claire to be hungry at 2:30 and Colin to be hungry around 2:45, I'm frequently thrown for a loop when Colin is screaming for food at 1:45 while Claire is pursing her lips and refusing to take a bottle until closer to 3.

In no way does this "ruin" my day. They have me out numbered and I accepted that after I found out I was having twins. The slight deviations probably would be barely noticeable if it were just one of them.

I'm now marveling at how frequently the LACK of a plan is what has gotten me through the day.
For two and a half weeks I kept three logs: one for when and how much Colin ate, one for when and how much Claire ate, and one for every time I pumped. (For two days I also kept a log of diaper changes for both of them, but that got too depressing so it didn't last long). I was looking for a natural rhythm that I could jump on to be able to plan around. There wasn't one. Between sleep cycles and doctor appointments, cluster feeding, growth spurts and flat out random events like dribbling half a bottle on Claire because I didn't tighten the lid enough or Colin randomly vomiting an entire bottle and then being hungry again 45 minutes later, I was looking for something that doesn't yet exist. So I quit with the logs. It was an extra pointless chore that had no real benefit. The feeding schedule works just as well if I make a mental note of the last time each of them ate.... And the pumping log only stressed me out because I wasn't seeing any changes despite all my efforts.

So they eat when they eat (with my coaxing to stay as close to 3 hour intervals as possible), and it's not a conspiracy against me. The only baby conspiracy going on here is the attempt to set records for how many diapers can be used in a day or how often a person can be peed on or thrown up on. (And no, I don't have a log of that either, although for posterity's sake it may be an interesting statistic).

Don't get me wrong, they are on a loose schedule... If they didn't at least eat around the same times I'd be feeding babies all day long and never sleep. But as far as being about to expect anything around here any more... Well, I just had to give up for now. I'm taking a lesson from Colin and just going with the flow...

I survive each day by being prepared. Laundry is constantly being done so I have clean blankets, clothes, and burp cloths, and then I don't put the laundry away. I fold it and leave it in the living room. Their bottles are made at least one feeding in advance, but usually more. The house is a disaster, but the laundry is done, the living room is clear of toys, and the bottles are washed. And that's the bare minimum.

Last week was their one month check up, and Colin was 7 lbs 8 oz, Claire was 7 lbs. Both are 20 inches long. They are still below 5th percentile for weight, but Claire is in the 10th percentile for height. They will eventually catch up. Yesterday Claire had a follow up at the pediatric urologist and her fetal hydronephrosis has resolved itself. Coincidentally, I had decided even before I knew that to take her off the Amoxicillan, suspecting that she was having a bad reaction to it that was actually causing her acid reflux to be worse... or that the "acid reflux" is actually a terrible reaction to the antibiotic. She has been off of it now for two days, and she's doing better already. 

I don't love this picture of me, but I want to remember how tiny Claire is.

Yesterday was my original due date (July 18). It's like a light bulb went off - they are nursing better, they are drinking from their bottles better and with less dribbling, and they are stronger. Neither wants to be left behind on the developmental track. Claire is more smiley (sleepy smiles) and even chuckled Sheldon Cooper-style in her sleep yesterday.  Colin has always been more alert and is awake more often. I think the social smile is very close so I'm frequently in his face begging for smiles.

On Monday, at 5 weeks old, Claire rolled over from her tummy to her back three times in a row. I kept rolling her over, and she kept flipping back. Like it was easy. Like she couldn't stop doing it. Then later that night, not to be left behind, Colin did it too. He was utterly exhausted after, but I admire his determination. He even had Adam cheering him on and telling him what a good job he was doing.

On average babies roll over near or around three months old. Adam rolled over at 2 weeks old. For Claire and Colin to roll over on the same day, let alone two days before their actual due date and two months before schedule, is pretty incredible. And I realize that I am in Trouble with a capital "T."

Speaking of Trouble, Adam is doing very well with his extra days at home and although he still has short episodes where he suddenly insists on sitting on my lap while I'm nursing one baby or bottle feeding two babies, he's adjusting very well. His favorite chore is feeding Caley her dinner, emptying the dishwasher (with help), and he frequently begs to hold babies (in fact it's the only thing that will make him sit still). When visitors come over he runs to look out the window to see what kind of car they drive. He's a little parrot, repeating everything we say, and gets really upset when we can't understand him.

I went out and bought a bunch of supplies and organized them in individual ziploc bags so that when Adam is on the verge of climbing the walls I can reach into a bucket, pull one out and we can do an activity together. These activities include fingerpainting in the bathtub, playdough, stickers, coloring, tatoos, bubbles, and one that I was wanting to try called liquid sidewalk chalk. It took 15 minutes to mix up, we painted for about ten minutes, and then when the hose came out, "Spraying Mom With the Water Hose" was an even better game that lasted 45 minutes.

Adam is very big on the "thank you's," "I love you's" and "bless you's" after sneezes. It's adorable and sweet. At school he is the youngest in the two year old class by quite a bit, and he's the only one who can identify all of his colors. At the dentist today, we went to find out if it was normal that he still didn't have all of his canines (she said he's fine, and it's fine to keep giving him the pacifier if it's what soothes him. And of course when she said that he turned to me and begged for the pacifier. I didn't even think he was paying attention, but now when we talk about Dentist, and Teeth, he asks for his pacifier - I guess an "expert" gave him permission.)

At the appointment, he wanted to "color" and tried to take the clipboard away from me when I was filling out his paperwork. I told him I'd take care of it for now and he wandered away in the very small waiting room... and when I looked up 30 seconds later, he had pulled a stool over to the receptionist window, was smiling and talking to the office manager and was asking for a clipboard so he could "color." Mr. Social is definitely not shy.

We got back into a good bedtime routine for Adam so that bedtime isn't so painful (my bed rest during pregnancy was really hard on him so going to bed was a fight and the night terrors were frequent. He was so stressed he couldn't sleep alone. So the first thing I did after Colin and Claire were born was put him back on a good bedtime routine. Every night we read One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, then we cuddle and sing songs... Mostly the ABC's, his favorite. He is memorizing Dr. Seuss and starting to sing the ABC's with me.

When his teeth are all in, we'll work on getting rid of the paci. Shannon cut the tip off of one the other day to see what Adam would do, and he noticed right away. He was baffled. We told him the paci was broken and he tried it out, but it kept falling out of his mouth. I asked him if he thought maybe it should go in the trash, and he stood over the trash can for about three minutes, contemplating whether it was a good idea. Even though the paci was basically useless, it still didn't deserve that fate. He then asked for a non-broken paci (which we gave him, his teeth are really bothering him and the paci is the only thing that helps), and he held onto the broken one for at least an hour, trying to figure it out.

Now the broken paci is the biggest mystery. When he finds it he tells everyone about his broken paci. "Paci  is broken," is now often heard. Adam had to call Shannon at work yesterday to tell him he had a broken paci. He showed it to Caley: "Broken paci!" When Dad got home from work, Adam ran up to him and even before Shannon got a hug, Adam showed him the paci and exclaimed, "Paci is broken!" I was certain we had passed the window of opportunity to cut the tip off the pacifiers... I had no idea the concept would be so entertaining. At least there were no tears.

Our photos from Brenna Lyn Photgraphy for our newborn photo shoot are almost here, but here's another one from the session. I got to see all of them today, and they are absolutely perfect. I can't wait to print and frame them. In the picture below, the pearls Claire is wearing were my grandmother's, Claire's great-grandmother's. This is going to look perfect framed everywhere.

Re-Evaluating Perfection

I would consider myself a very patient person... When it comes to other people. But I am consistently and almost abusively impatient with myself. Shannon frequently shakes his head when he sees me throw my hands up in frustration and complain while trying to use a screwdriver in a tight space, or when I have a mini breakdown while trying to accomplish something minor in a toy-cluttered room, or when I ramble on and on before falling asleep about how frustrated or concerned I am about my ability to take on the world tomorrow, or how much I "failed" the day before.

Having twins is teaching me to be patient with myself. I'm gaining more experience with seeing my best intended plans fail miserably and force me to re-evaluate and re-plan, over, and over, and over again.

Colin and Claire are not difficult babies, and Adam is a great, energetic, and active big brother. I would not consider Claire's acid reflux (and now Colin's as well, in the form of excessive spit up and vomiting) to be impossible to handle. Shannon and I pretty much have an unspoken philosophy that when something needs fixing, you figure out the solution and then apply it. There's no need to wallow in the level of difficulty of any situation. Of course there are frustrations, breakdowns, hands thrown in the air and raised stress levels... But more frequently we celebrate our minor successes rather than wallow in our misfortune of having to face it at all.

I am a first born child, Shannon is a first born child, and Adam is a first born child. First born people are notoriously perfectionists, so before Colin and Claire arrived our house was full of people who get angry or frustrated at themselves when they didn't accomplish exactly what they set out to.

The perfectionist in me is not gone now that they are here (and by "perfectionist," I definitely don't mean "does everything perfectly." I mean, "obsesses and abuses oneself in the many messy situations in life where it did NOT turn out perfectly" and in no way could I claim that I'm a perfect or even "good" housekeeper, just that it bothers me that I'm not). I feel an unexplainable amount of guilt when I am unable to hold any of my babies, cuddle them or give either of them my completely undivided attention for any amount of time. Colin could be content in someone's arms all day, and would barely remember to get hungry. On the other hand, I when I hold Claire I smell like food and make her think she's hungry even when she's not. It seems like when I'm feeding or bonding with one, the other needs some kind of attention or basic need. Sure, they are being fed on time, bathed, changed, dressed, and are getting interaction with Dad, Adam, each other, Mamie, Grandpa, Robin, Papa, and other visitors, but I'm the one who is missing out on the sweet-sleepy-cuddly baby phase. The last month is a blur. Last week was a blur. Hell, yesterday was a blur and half the time after a brief nap I can barely remember what I did just that morning.

But when all this has passed I want to remember certain things - like the pride I feel when my overly coordinated preemies are side by side, holding in their pacifiers (Claire with two hands in a move that I'm certain was taught to her by Adam, and Colin cool and casually with one hand). Or Claire's enormous, gummy grins and Colin's sweet dimply smiles. Or how when we leave Adam unattended in a room with his brother and sister and come back to see him trying to give a fussy Claire her pacifier. Or when our run-full-speed--into-the-walls, stomp on people's feet, yell at the top of his lungs, climb the back of the couch two year old crawls sweetly up to hover over Colin on the play yard to talk to him in soft voices.

On Monday, I had a terrible day. I don't admit that often because if you think about it, it's rare to have days where NOTHING went right, so I save my complaints for truly horrible days. First of all, I had several people (who knew someone who had twins, not actually have twins themselves), tell me to "just" do everything at the same time. Feed them at the same time, change them, etc. And maybe that works for 6 month olds. Or babies you can nurse at every meal, or who are old enough to let them fuss... But for premature babies who take bottles and need your full attention to drink that bottle, the last thing you want is for both of them to be hungry at the exact same time. It took me less than one feeding to figure that out.  I'm not saying you want them to be eating at different hours, but a good 15-20 minute delay is ideal.

Side note: I've also had many people suggest to me (again, not people who have twins, just people) that when one wakes up in the night to eat that I should wake the other too and feed them so I can go back to sleep without interruption in another hour. In theory that makes sense... For the parent. But for the baby, does it really? I'm not saying I've never done it. There are several times I've just gone ahead and fed Claire at 3am after feeding Colin because she was kind of stirring already and it's only about 30 minutes earlier than normal. Or vice versa. But last night Colin slept a whole 6 hours uninterrupted. Claire made up for it by eating every 2 hours. If Colin's natural rhythms are already pointing towards being able to sleep longer periods at night, why would I wake him up to discourage that? Have you ever attempted the frustrating task of feeding a baby who simply isn't hungry because they ate just two hours ago? And I may sound insane, but even if I wake up to feed just Claire, I'm awake for less time and can go back to sleep faster.  Feeding two babies takes at least an hour. An hour and a half if I pump also. It may suck for a while, but isn't the goal healthy sleepers for life, not my comfort for a few months?

Anyway... On Monday, as impossible as it may sound, they went four meals straight (12 hours) on the exact same feeding schedule, despite my attempts to offset them. This meant two crying babies who needed to be fed and burped at the same time. I'm pretty good at resynchronizing them when they are very off schedule from each other. I've started to master holding two bottles at once while they sit in their bouncy chairs... But have you ever tried to burp two babies at the same time (two babies who NEED to be burped to avoid horrible reflux situations)?

The hectic feeding schedule would not have been so bad, but Adam is now only going to school Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I love getting the extra days with him, but I would have bet my life on someone sneaking into our house at 4 am Monday morning to slip Adam something... Not sugar, not a Red Bull, but most likely pure Speed. He woke up at 4 am in quite a mood, and one that lasted all day. All. Day. At home, where I could not get him out of the house to run it off or distract him. Where he did not have the sleep to cope with my attention being fully on Colin and Claire every two hours, and when that wasn't happening, I needed to find time to pump, wash bottles, or feed the two of us. He tested every boundary, did things 4-5 times after being told not to, and repeatedly asked to watch TV, which fosters his out of control behavior - TV does not fix anything, and in fact makes it worse... But when you would have your arms full even if you had 4 arms, your options are limited. I cried several times - each time from losing my patience and raising my voice to Adam, who was in fine form, and then for each time I thought about how I was damaging my poor innocent newborns who were focusing on taking a bottle while their mom screams at their brother to stop trying to Swiffer Wet Jet the carpet after asking him to put it away 6 times. We were just too tired to be able to deal with one another, and I hate feeling that way.

Adam took an early nap, and during my recovery decided that maybe he was overwhelmed by the lack of attention due to the new babies. So after a 3 hour nap that I was hoping would last 5 hours, I tried to have a picnic with him, just him and me, in the playroom while Colin and Claire napped in the adjacent room. Apparently the babies were not the issue, because the second we sat down he asked where the babies were and went to go get them.

When Shannon got home from a long day at Jury Duty, I was balling and retreated with Colin and Claire to the bedroom while Shannon took Adam out of the house to try to alleviate his boredom. In all, the day was a disaster. And I beat myself up royally for it.

I've quit reading advice on the Internet about twins. There are far too many stories of women who delivered 7 pound twin babies naturally at 40 weeks and then tandem nursed them for a year or more as if it's the easiest thing in the world. I'm sick of reading the judgements against supplementing with formula. I devote countless hours per day to producing breast milk, and still about 20% of their feedings are supplemented with formula. While I believe breast milk is absolutely the best, I do not have any high and mighty views on formula feeding. However, formula is expensive and smells bad. It's oily and hard to clean, and it's not nearly as good for them. But not every woman produces enough milk to feed a dozen children, and they simply have to eat. I'm drinking a gallon of water a day AND taking supplements, and just when I think I might catch up, they go through another growth spurt and I'm struggling to keep up again. Some might say I'm not doing something right... Some might say to give it up altogether because the stress isn't worth it. My original goal was 4-6 months. Now I'm just hoping to make it to month two, and despite repeated attempts to tell myself, day and night, that I can only do what I can do, I still put a whole lot of pressure on myself to keep up. This should be familiar to me since I had the same issues with Adam, but its just as frustrating as it was then. The perfectionist in me wants to know what I can do to fix it... The other part of me wants to smack some of these righteous women who post stories on the Internet about how what they do will work for everyone, and another part of me wants to tell lactation consultants that they don't know everything, because all of their "tricks" are unsuccessful for me.

I'm also tired of reading regulations from the foundation designed to prevent SIDS. With Colin and Claire's reflux, I'm having to do basically everything they say not to do. The " right" way:  Put babies on their back. Don't co-sleep, don't put twins together. But if I put Claire on her back, she can't breathe. Several times, I have picked her up out of an upright bouncer or slightly elevated on her back while she's turning purple. The only way she is comfortable and not choking is on a boppy lounger on her side or stomach. Even the boppy lounger says "not for sleep," "not on stomach," "not on elevated surfaces or bed." So crazy me... The only way these kids are SAFE and able to sleep is on boppy loungers next to one another, on my bed, on their sides or stomach, and right next to my face. This is not one of those "nervous mom" things. I would love to reclaim my bed.  And it's not like I'm getting a whole lot of sleep anyway, between worrying about them and being up every hour or so. I'm sure Shannon would love to come back from the couch. After days of trial and error and doing the "right" thing, this is what works best.

So I'm done checking the Internet for a while. The things I read only stress me out or make me mad.

On Sunday Colin and Claire were one month old. We went to have their newborn portraits taken with Adam in a few of them (bribed with gummy worms). Brenna Lynn Photography did our newborn portraits of Adam, and I'm excited to see the results. I just adore this one with Adam looking at them.

I hope that when I look back years from now on this experience, I remember that the only tough part is that I can't stop time and gaze upon these faces for as long as I want with no distractions. And maybe by that time I'll have learned how to be okay with less than perfection... I might as well accept reality now anyway.

Survival Mode

The topic of the last week has been Claire's acid reflux. We have had three "double" doctor's appointments - starting with the pediatrician last week, where our doctor was thrilled with the twins' growth. Colin was 6 lbs even and Claire was 5 lbs 10 oz. Colin is 19" long and Claire is 18 3/4" long (she's in the 50th percentile for height even for being a preemie).

At that appointment they scheduled us for hip ultrasounds for both of them because of our family history and from what they found in NICU, which was actually that both of them had lax hips. My mom came with me to the hip ultrasound yesterday, and they determined that Colin's left hip has laxity. Claire's right hip has laxity. So both of them have the potential for the same hip dysplasia that Adam had. But because of their size and preemie status, we're going for follow up hip ultrasounds in 4-6 weeks. It is what it is. We'll deal with that when we know what we're facing, but frankly, a couple more pavlik harnesses would only be an inconvenience and a bummer, not a tragedy. Things could be much worse.

After the hip ultrasounds we went to the Chiropractor. A good friend recommended him and I was incredibly impressed. We took Adam to a chiropractor when he was a newborn for his acid reflux and gas issues, and it helped. Adam's issues as a newborn and until he was about 10 months old included excessive spitting up/throwing up and trouble burping. We would spend hours after every feeding trying to get him to burp... And if you didn't get all the air out he'd scream and scream for several more hours. The chiropractor helped, as well as keeping him upright and changing my diet to avoid dairy and acidic foods.  He took Nexium daily for months. We also had to go to soy formula and eventually the expensive Nutramigen formula. So I was prepared and knowledgeable about acid reflux when the twins came along.

But Claire's acid reflux (or whatever digestive issue she does have) is much, much worse. She eats every 2-3 hours, and for at least an hour and a half after every meal she moans and grunts and squirms in discomfort. She spits up and throws up, but she also has milk literally shooting out of her nose after some meals, thickened with rice cereal or not. I've even seen this when she's in a full upright position in a bouncy chair. Our pediatrician recommended thickening the breast milk and prescribed Zantac in case that didn't work. Neither solution is working even slightly. I solicited advice from smart mothers on Facebook and was reminded of the benefits of the chiropractor, advised to let her sleep in the bouncy chair and was told lots of stories of babies who had similar issues and grew out of it, which helped. A friend suggested a good chiropractor and another very generously brought us dinner and allowed us to borrow their nap nanny to see if that would help Claire at all.

Our own personal NIC nurse Mandie told us that it's common for medications not to work on infants and that it can also help to lie her on her left side. My mom also noticed that she sleeps better on her stomach, which is great for napping but isn't really an option at night, when our struggles are the worst.

The chiropractor checked out both Colin and Claire and adjusted both of them. He commented several times on Colin's "nicely shaped head." (Go Colin!) He asked whether they slept together (I told him we let them nap together during the day but they have separate bassinets at night). He asked if I noticed whether they liked sleeping together or not, and I told him that Claire really liked being with Colin, while Colin didn't seem to have a preference.  He recommended probiotics, which is a good idea anyway since she's on antibiotics for her fetal hydronephrosis (dilated kidneys), and also suggested plant enzymes. After he checked out Claire, he then suggested that part of the reason she did better with Colin was because being next to him relaxed her and made the symptoms less extreme.

This was something I only half noticed until he brought it up (I might have gotten there eventually, but I blame sleep deprivation... Which has recently caused me to think far too long about whether a Walgreens would accept my 25% off CVS coupon because I didn't want to drive another 2 minutes to the CVS, and has given me several nightmares about spending 45 minutes pumping only to stagger sleepily into the kitchen and pour the breast milk down the sink. I've had a few close calls...)






Anyway, after he said that I started to notice how much his suggestion could be true. When Claire is being held by Mamie, me, Shannon, or even better, lying next to Colin, her moaning is considerably better (not gone, but better) regardless of her position. But at night, in her own crib or bouncer, is when the symptoms flare up the most. So far the nap nanny and sleeping in the bouncy chair is helping, but I'm starting to think that the magic cure, for now at least, is being near her brother. Colin might be the medicine.

So we will continue to search for the miracle combination that can help Claire. Luckily, nothing is slowing down either of their appetites, and they are eating about 2 and a half ounces at every feeding.



Adam still loves Colin and Claire and has accepted them as his family with no question. He came home from school earlier this week to find Manie holding Claire, and he got mad at Mamie, who got the silent treatment, but he didn't take it out on Claire. He can tell them apart, knows their names, and even though he just calls them both "baby," is able to tell whose blankie belongs to whom. And each morning his favorite thing to do is hold his brother (Colin is less squirmy). This morning I changed and dressed Colin, then handed Colin over to Adam (who was sitting with Mamie on he couch). Adam held out his arms eagerly when I turned toward him, then sat in silence, grinning from ear to ear because he got to hold his brother and didn't even have to beg.

Watching Mickey together

Apparently the ear tugging is hereditary.

Since Adam moved up to the two year old class at school on Monday (just three days a week now until I go back to work), his maturity level is much higher. They said he did incredibly, even on the first day. I'm so proud of him.



This picture might mislead you into thinking he's regressing - chilling in the car seat next to Claire with a pacifier in his mouth... but really he just gets very excited about going for rides in the car and didn't want to get left behind.





Last Friday I gave Adam a long overdue day with just Mom to do something fun. We went swimming at Lisa and Mike's for a couple hours. We called it Adam's Special Big Brother Day. He was thrilled to get to try to swim and couldn't get enough of the pool.












For Independence Day we had our first family outing to the park. We made some new friends there who gave charming little Adam a Popsicle and a bottle of water, and the babies drew a crowd of admirers (the smart, look-but-don't-touch kind of admirers). Then we took a walk and went home before it got too hot.

Helping Dad push the stroller

I'm simply in amazement that today I am 32, today Adam is 26 months old, on Friday Colin and Claire will be 4 weeks old, and on Sunday they will be 1 month.

Week Two of doctor's appointments and our first family outing was a success... And in recent days (let's face it, months), success is measured in units of survival. 1 unit of survival (5 breathing members of the family) = success. The smiles are just bonus points. We are over achievers.