Not Fantastic

A co-worker of mine teased me that I'm all, "oh, life is so wonderful, la la la," on Facebook. I was confused and then recovered quickly. "No, my kids are wonderful. That's what I share."


Today, quite frankly, was not wonderful. I woke up crying. Claire had been up all night miserable and inconsolable. I had to work and care for three absolutely miserable kids and i had not slept, and have also been feeling less than 100%. The kids have been sick for almost a week. I'm exhausted.


Adam has developed a cough over the last two to three weeks that developed into bronchitis. Colin got a virus that quickly started a sinus infection, and Claire started running a high fever on Sunday night that is not going away.


All five of us sat in the tiny patient room on Wednesday with the doctor, the nurse, and the huge double stroller with the toddler attachment and tried to maneuver an exam for all three kids. Adam came home with oral steroids, breathing treatments, and antibiotics, Colin got some amoxicillin, and Claire came home with question marks and waiting on getting a culture back on a negative strep test.


The next day, Claire developed a rash that spread quickly. I've never seen her so miserable. Adam repeatedly refused to take his medicines, and if we forced him he just threw it up anyway. Colin seemed to feel better by the morning so Shannon took him to daycare. I took Mr. Stubborn, who insisted he's rather have shots than take medicine, and poor miserable Claire to the doctor for shots and reevaluation.


By the time we got to the appointment, Claire was running a 103 fever and was covered from head to foot in the rash. Adam could barely breathe. Long story short, Claire ended up having to get a CBC and a viral respiratory panel.


While we were there doing the tests, I got a call from daycare saying that Colin was running a 101.5 degree fever and was miserable. Shannon was over an hour away doing a work event. My mom was willing to come up and pick him up, but by the time she would get there I could already do it. So he had to wait.

Then we came back to the doctor, exhausted, and Adam got his shots. I watched him go from nervous/scared to "oh my god that really hurts," and then I held him as he cried and said, "they poked me!" in sadness and a little in shock. Those shots really do hurt more than anything.

I told him how brave he was. He asked who did it to him (he couldn't see). I told him, and he nodded. Then he told me we needed to go home. I told him Claire had to get a shot too.

Two gigantic tears poured out of his eyes when I told him Claire was going to get a shot. He sobbed quietly, "I don't want them to poke Claire," and his lip quivered. When she got her shot, he cried with such utter sadness and sympathy for his sister that my heart broke in two. Again. For the 16th time today.

We finally left to get Colin, who had sat at daycare miserable and sick, without me to hold him, and when we pulled into the school Adam started complaining.

I said, "don't worry, we're just getting Colin." He said he knew, but: "Don't take Colin to the doctor to get poked!" And started tearing up again.

I held my daughter down three times today - two for needles and once to get her nose sucked out to get mucus. I woke her up from several naps to make her ride in a warm car and then sit next to her loud big brother while he squirmed. She didnt complain, but laid their in misery. I had to leave Colin at school by himself, and then find out that he was really sick all day. I had to pin Adam down for two a shots in his legs and couldn't find any good things to say to him to make him feel better by the end of the day... Except that I loved him and was proud of him.

But Adam's compassion for his brother and sister is extraordinary. Claire went through the ringer, doing a CBC test for the boys and taking one for the team because a blood draw on Adam would be too traumatic and Colin's veins are deep, impossible to see and fragile. And in the end I had to take her back to acute care to evaluate her for dehydration, and she drank from a straw for the first time and talked with me a little. And Colin, poor Colin, was left at school all day, sick, but came home smiling because he was happy to see us.




My mom came over to help with the boys. Shannon met me at acute care to give me a break. My dad and my sister and my best friend texted their support all day. I am surrounded by the best.

Life is not fantastic, and I am far from perfect, but my kids... Are absolutely wonderful. Even at their sickest.