Sunday, October 23, 2011

Being a "Real" Mom

When I was a child my mom was home with us. She worked as our entertainer, care taker, nurse, feeder, cleaner, and millions of the other tasks required of raising children and maintaining the house - full time. No one could say that that isn't a "working" mother.

I remember going on outings, playing outside, doing crafts, and learning things daily with both of my parents. I remember very well planned out vacations as a family. I remember going to the grocery store with my mom (and driving her crazy in the process), I remember her taking us out to the airport to ride the shuttle around (for free) when there was nothing else to do and we needed to be out of the house. I grew up with a mom who was always around and who creatively and effectively planned activities for us.

Now that I am a mom who has to be at work everyday, I feel no hesitation in fitting in all of those "real" mom moments every second that I am free. It's exhausting, but only if I stop to think about it for too long. I've also learned to fit in the very necessary "me" time more often and very briefly. (And at the risk of sounding sappy, the moment I sit down to have quiet time with a book or to catch up on the DVD, I miss him too much to regret the lack of "me" time).

Perhaps that's why I take so many pictures... I feel like my time with him is so limited.


So for my week of vacation, I pretended I was a "real" mom. I sewed part of Adam's Halloween costume. I ate lunch with him every day. I took him on day trips every day. I took him to the grocery store, the park, and to see Mamie and Grandpa. I read parenting books and read books to him and did puzzles and played with Play-Doh.

The Bed
We worked very diligently on his comfort level in sleeping in his toddler bed. After nearly three weeks of "adjusting" (very poorly, I may add), we got into a routine. We decided that it did none of us any good to spend two hours trying to force him to fall asleep in his bed with one of us sitting by him each night, only to walk out of his room in the end, frustrated and on the verge of tears as he screamed anyway and fell asleep in front of his bedroom door. Instead, we turned on some classical bedtime music, rocked for 4 minutes, put him down with a kiss and walked out at "bedtime" or even earlier so he could scream and cry and fall asleep in front of his bedroom door two hours earlier. Then we move him to bed about 20 minutes later, after he was fully asleep.

Gradually, Adam started to "figure it out." Tuesday afternoon at nap time he cried by the door, then went and got in bed by himself. Tuesday evening he did it again. He got into bed on his own Thursday and Saturday night too. It's not consistent, but it's so much closer than where we were. Saturday and Sunday, he didn't even cry when we put him into bed at bedtime or at naptime. He didn't consistently fall asleep in the bed, but at least he didn't cry.

A month after the toddler bed transition, we're finally starting to get somewhere now that I've been home with him for a week to work on it. I'll remember that for when we are ready for potty training.

Personality
Adam showed me lots of things too. He's a major flirt and the definition of the word extrovert. He thrives in crowds and gets bored easily at home. He has started to like hats now.  He is learning to take off his shirts. He likes cheese . . . a LOT. He doesn't like cereal. He LOVES pancakes and is completely sick of grapes and bananas. He prefers showers over baths. It's a real treat to watch Little Einsteins in Mom and Dad's bed in the mornings before breakfast. The sun in his eyes really bothers him (so we finally turned his car seat around to face the front). Sometimes his socks "bite"  and he just has to take them off. He doesn't like long sleeved shirts.

Health
We nixed the "puffer" meant for babies (he hates to have the thing on his face), and figured out that he does excellently with the straight inhaler and is happy to "puff puff" . . . he even asks for it sometimes, and created his own sign for it (says "puff puff" and puts one finger on a closed mouth). His breathing is considerably better and he seems to be fighting colds a little more effectively.

Development
He can identify on command and very quickly: Nose, Mouth, Tongue, Eyes, Ears, Hair, Head, Hands, Feet, and don't forget . . . Belly! (you get flashed when you ask where his belly is, so that's the best part).

And the real shocker is just how much he really understands. He has a pretty firm grasp of what we're telling him to do, even if the instructions are what I would consider somewhat complicated. In fact, the more complicated the better. He craves a challenge.

He learned today to say "cheese!" for the camera.

More Words Than I Can Count
He can say more words and phrases that we can count, and below are a few of his favorites over the last week (not all of his words, but the ones I heard the most other than Dad, Eat, Night Night, Juice, Apple, Car, Shoes, or his other favorites):

YELLOW!
Hat
Moon, Stars
Train, Choo! Choo!
Run, run, run!
Roll, roll, roll!
All gone!
All Done!
I don't know
Is it? (Where is it?)
Pat pat
Duck (I didn't realize he knew the sign for duck either until he looked at me like I was stupid when I didn't understand him and he signed it at me).
I did it!
In there, Out there
Drink, Cup
Grandpa
A KITTY!
Up, Down
Home ("ohmah!")
Clock
Cheese
Yuck
AGAIN! AGAIN!


So here's what we did this week while I was on vacation (The links below will take you to the blog that has pictures of our outings).

Saturday
Shannon and I did some heavy duty cleaning and laundry and we just hung out around the house. Robin came over and we watched The Chipmunk Adventure (circa mid 1980's classic).

Sunday
My mom and I took Adam to the Dallas Arboretum for some pictures in the pumpkin patch. We got so many great pictures there is even a second blog post with pictures from the day.

Monday
Trying on Mom's headband.
Adam and I went to do some shopping at Walmart, then came back and cleaned a little more in the morning. After his nap, we went to Target and then to the park for a while. Adam is very good at getting out of the carts... even buckled in, with bulky shoes on, he can quickly (turn my back for a second), wiggle free of the straps, pull his feet up, and stand up. So if I'm going to the store for not very much, I sometimes let him sit in the actual cart... and he stands up in there too, but will sit down much more quickly when I tell him to.

That afternoon he was far too excited to sit down for long, and ended up half the time standing up while we strolled through screaming "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" and stopping only to wave and say "hi!" to every lady that we passed. When he earned an "oh, you're cute!" (he probably got 4 or 5), he would grin his cheesiest (most flirty) grin and wave again. I'm sure he quickly made some of those women quickly forget their judgmental thoughts ("ugh, she can't control her loud child?!") and temptation to roll their eyes. I try to control him, I keep him safe and I am trying already to teach him about manners and respect . . . but he has so much energy, spirit, persistence, and need for noise that I choose my battles. Plain and simple.

After Target we went to the park and played for a while.


Tuesday
Adam and I had a lazy morning (he showed me he could attempt to get out of his shirts) . . .

. . . and then went to go have lunch with Shannon near his work. (Adam was only interested in eating lunch if he could sit in my lap, hold a spoon and a fork in one hand and another fork (my fork) in the other, eat my black eyed peas, and leave immediately after he was finished eating). Needless to say it wasn't the most relaxing lunch.

Adam and I came home for a second nap and then went to my parents house in the evening and stayed way past his bedtime because we were having too much fun. He really enjoyed being the entertainment for the evening, and showed them everything he could do. He also discovered that he LOVES (not likes, LOVES) Chicken and Dumplings.

At the end of the night, he gave everyone two rounds of goodbye kisses.

Wednesday
Another lazy morning. Adam was happily watching Little Einsteins in our bed so I decided to get a shower in. I turned on the water and was in the closet pulling out some clothes and a towel, and came back to discover a little shower thief thoroughly enjoying a full clothed warm shower. I was happy I had my camera handy.


After Adam's nap we picked Shannon up from work and went to the State Fair of Texas for the afternoon. Adam apparently loves funnel cake... and can't get enough corn dogs either. He was well behaved, laid back, and enjoyed the ride and the people to look at.

Thursday
Adam and I went to the Interurban Railway Museum in Historic Downtown Plano. After his nap (a long one that took place on the floor next to his bedroom door), we went the few blocks to the Farmer's Market to take some more pictures and to buy him a pumpkin.



 

Friday
Adam and I had a laid back Friday morning of cleaning out closets (which really means you pull a lot of stuff out of the closet only to rearrange it somewhere else in the house for the purgatory period before it goes into the attic about a month later), and then went to have lunch with Uncle Chris and Mamie at Tupinambas. Adam flirted big time with the waitress, ate a meal primarily consisting of refried beans, then went out to play and take a walk with Mamie while I tried to finish my tortilla soup and catch up with Chris.


Friday evening was the Fall Festival at the day care and Adam got to give his first run with his Dennis the Menace Halloween costume a go... and he fit the part perfectly. 

Saturday
Saturday we cleaned again, although not very vigorously. Adam woke up with an insatiable NEED to climb so Shannon brought his slide inside, which Adam loved.

Adam took a long nap and then we went over to Mamie and Grandpa's house to visit some more with Chris and to have some beef stew.

When we first got there, Adam went straight for their telephone:

Adam ("talking" on the phone): "Hello?! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" (he has added a fake laugh to his phone conversations).
Mamie: "Adam, who are you talking to?"
Adam: "Grandpa."

That's the first time I've heard him say it, and I haven't heard it since, but it was a clear and exact "Grandpa."
Grandpa was actually sitting in the recliner behind him.

His bedtime seems to be getting earlier so we left around 7, and again, everyone got two rounds of goodbye kisses.

Sunday
Sunday is always football day. Robin came over to play and we had a nice relaxing Sunday as Shannon's fantasy football teams did well, as always, and Robin's and mine struggled (as always). Adam snacked and screamed loudly and played . . . and when I asked where Robin was (laying on the floor about 4 feet away), he looked right at her, grinned, and ran and gave her a big hug.



Kisses...

I enjoyed being a "real" mom this week, and realized that is is exhausting but extremely rewarding. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat... who needs trips to the Carribbean? (Right...)

It's amazing that I had a whole week off of work, and it doesn't seem like it's quite time to go back yet. I'm sure this will hurt in the morning.

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